a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
