Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
