I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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