Define "chronic" masturbator.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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