Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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