i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
