U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
