I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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