This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
