You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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