I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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