you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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