so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
