My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
