i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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