Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
