Nicole vs. Life
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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