Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We have so much sex to catch up on
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
