I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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