saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
