Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
