I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
