I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
