every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
no you cant smoke seaweed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
