Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
