I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
