Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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