I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
