I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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