1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
