the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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