There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
