I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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