I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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