oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
