We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize