I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
