i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
