yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
