Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
