It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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