Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
