You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
