3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
