So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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