That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
