OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
