yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
