i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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