Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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