Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
