I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
