well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
