i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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