ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think people are normalizing furries
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
