my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
