some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
worst night to have a conscience
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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