just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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