About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
