Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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